My Name is (not) Earl

Several weeks ago, I offered $20 bucks to an individual in need. I felt pretty good about myself and was probably wishing someone had been around to see my philanthropy. After all, I live in a city familiar with philanthropy. Emory University, a campus only a mile or so from Veritas' worship site, has received some $230 million dollars from the very generous former president of Coca-Cola, Robert Woodruff. In addition to millions in monetary gifts, Asa Candler, the first president of Coca-Cola and Woodruff's predecessor, gave a land gift to Emory University enabling Emory to move from Oxford to its present location. The amazing Georgia Aquarium was the result of a $250 million dollar gift by Home Depot founder, Bernie Marcus. Clearly, as I handed over my crisp twenty I placed myself some pretty good company.

Here's the rub, within a few minutes a Decatur policeman noticed a leak in the rear passenger tire of my car and kindly brought it to my attention. Since I was right next to a local Goodyear, I decided to take care of it right away. I passed the time in a local coffee shop and on my way back to Goodyear I was almost flattened and killed. While I was standing at an intersection waiting to cross the street, a car began pulling out of the Goodyear parking lot and toward the intersection where I was standing. Nothing strange about that. As the car got closer, I did notice one peculiarity; there was no one in the car. I deduced that the car, having no navigator, would likely continue on its present trajectory. I moved to the left and my deduction turned out to be spot on. The car slammed into a telephone pole against which I had been leaning.

After reveling for a few moments in my powers of deduction, I walked into the Goodyear where I was greeted with a bill - for $20 dollars. Wait a minute I thought. That's not how this is supposed to work. I just gave away twenty bucks. That's not the way church people tell the story. Here's how this should have played out:

• I give twenty bucks to the person in need.


• Unbeknownst to me, a passerby observes my goodness and pats me on the back.


• I drive home on tires full of air.


• I walk into my house only to find a mysterious looking envelope that someone slid under the door.


• I open the envelope and to my surprise (not really) I find an anonymous gift of $40 dollars; exactly double the amount I gave away.


• I stand in front of the church and tell everyone about this miracle.

This almost never happens, but church people would have us believe it happens a lot - that this is the norm - even a principle. I have a name for this "principle": Karma Kristianity. Do good to others and you'll see an immediate reward that compensates and typically goes beyond what you have done. It's a "My Name is Earl" faith.

Though Scripture teaches nothing of the sort, Americans and particularly American Christians are practical Karma Kristians. Do good, get good. Do bad, get bad. The individual who for years serves God sacrificially and with a smile doesn't allow the thought to rise all the way to the top for a long time, but one day it breaks through. When success doesn't happen, the refrigerator breaks down, the tire blows out, the relationship slams against the rocks, it breaks through. You owe me, God. I've been working like a slave for you and this is what I get? We shake our fist at God. I think of Salieri (albeit as unfairly portrayed in the movie Amadeus). For years, the composer Salieri slaved away "for the Lord" and saw little to no success. And for years he watched as the licentious Mozart lived an ungodly life, but enjoyed unparalleled success. The inconsistency finally drove Salieri insane.

And it will drive us insane because it has not basis in Scripture. Which is to say, it has no basis in reality. King David lamented time and again that the wicked prosper and "good people" suffer. Paul gave the second half of his life in service of the Gospel and wrote most of the New Testament, yet he met with beatings, stonings, snakebites, shipwrecks, hunger, and a host of other dangers. All of the disciples but two died gruesome martyrs deaths.

On the other hand, sometimes I am Mozart. Not the genius Mozart - the licentious Mozart. I am ingenius only in my ability to sin. I can really mess up big and despite my wretchedness, God gives me some amazing gift. This is the paradox of God. He will not be treated as a slot machine. I cannot put my quarter in and expect a goody to fall out. God will never be my indentured servant. He will never be in debt to me. He owes me nothing.

All that God gives is the result of his mercy and grace; unmerited favor. He gives in spite of my unworthiness and He withholds punishment in spite of my wickedness. Thank God that He does not operate according to Karma.