31 Suggestions for Christians Wanting to be Married

31 Suggestions For Christians Wanting to be Married

1. Much of the work for a great marriage begins before you’re married.
2. Pray daily for your spouse to be.



3. Marry a Christian. If you have dedicated your life to following Jesus, the chasm between your priorities and passions and those of a non-believer is significant. This only becomes more complicated if you have children.



4. Singleness is not a curse. Jesus and Paul were single.



5. Avoid the temptation of believing that marriage will bring fulfillment and instead, learn to be content whatever your circumstances. You’ll be a much better spouse if you find your contentment in Christ.



6. Other than your relationship with Christ, there is no decision that will so roundly impact your life as the one regarding whom you will marry.



7. Don’t date someone you wouldn’t marry. If it becomes clear that the person you’re dating doesn’t meet your criteria, end it quickly. Let them get on with their life.



8. Our cosmopolitan culture responds to biblical admonitions regarding lust, sex, and premarital sex with a great big eye-roll. In a world of emotional anguish, rampant sexual abuse and addictive behavior, and STDs, a better perspective might be that these admonitions are given by a Father who wants his children to be truly free.



9. Take the time to become a healthy person before you inflict yourself on someone else. In other words, be the kind of person you want to marry. If you need to work through some stuff in counseling, do so. You’ll never deal with all your baggage, but you can unload some of the big rocks.



10. Ask yourself a simple question: Why do you want to be married? If the answer is anything other than, “I want to serve and bring joy to another person for the rest of my life” you're not ready.



11. Decide now what kind of person you want to marry and what kind of person you do not want to marry. I recommend making a list of those attributes you desire in a spouse.
    Decide which attributes represent the non-negotiables on your list and commit to those items. Do not cave.



12. Do not marry potential. Marry the person who is already what you desire.
    Read His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley and memorize the top five needs of a man and woman.



13. Opposites may attract, but in the long run, they repel. While radical differences make for great Hollywood storylines, they make for troubled marriages. Compatibility is everything.



14. Go slow. There are good reasons for pithy quotes like, “Haste makes waste” or “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” Date your prospective spouse for one year before talking about marriage or getting engaged. If you feel compelled to move quickly, ask the question, “What’s the hurry?” If he/she is the right person now, he/she will be the right person in a year.



15. Experts repeatedly tell us that money-issues are frequently at the center of failed marriages. Eliminate debt and read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover.



16. Do not marry someone who is unwise in their financial habits.



17. Marry someone you respect and admire.



18. Do not marry someone with the notion that you will “fix them” or change them.



19. Do not date or marry someone for the purpose of rescuing them.



20. If your closest friends and family have reservations about your potential spouse, you should pay attention.



21. It would seem to be common sense, but do not marry someone who is abusive in any way.



22. Be wary of the person who enjoys making you the butt of the joke, belittles you, or treats you with contempt in any way.



23. A bad conversationalist will not magically become a good conversationalist after saying “I do.” BUT, I have observed that many men who were great conversationalist while pursuing a spouse, abandoned that characteristic after marriage (if not sooner).



24. Likewise, serious deficits in character do not magically disappear. Again, do not marry potential.



25. Men, read Ken Nair’s “Discovering the Mind of a Woman”.



26. When you marry someone, you’re marrying their family.



27. Guys, once you’re married, 90% of the time, you just need to listen instead of fixing the problem.



28. I don’t know who said it first, but the three words a women wants to hear most are, “Tell me more.”



29. Read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, discover your spouses love language, and speak it.



30. Be ready to forgive and ask forgiveness at all times.



31. Forgo the need to be right.